Animorphs #17: The Underground

This week, the good ol’ Fanimorphs talk oatmeal and Yeerk pools as they read through Animorphs #17: The Underground!

What’s the deal with Yeerks and breakfast cereal? What’s the deal with Visser Three’s thought-speak? What’s the deal with stigmas surrounding mental health??? Answers to all this and more on this episode of The Dork-Bajir Chronicles!


Live from the Gardens: The Warning

This week on Live from the Gardens, we’re talking houseflies and rhinos, the two main morphs from Animorphs #16: The Warning.

What’s the difference between a white rhino and a black rhino? Why are houseflies all different sizes? Why do the Fanimorphs continue to interrupt each other, no matter how many times they make a podcast? Find out the answer to two of these questions by tuning in!

Hypothetical Question of the Week: Would you rather be a fly with the skin of a rhino or a rhino with the wings of a fly?


Animorphs #16: The Warning

This week the Fanimorphs talk rhinos, rich folks, and mid-nineties internet connections in their discussion of Animorphs #16: The Warning.

Do you think Jeff Bezos is richer than Joe Bob Fenestre? Did you know fitey777 has a real website in the real world? Do you think Mikael should have edited out that one part where Tessa blows her nose? Find out this week on The Dork-Bajir Chronicles!


Live from the Gardens: The Escape

This week on Live from the Gardens we talk parrots and hammerhead sharks, the two morphs from Animorphs #15: The Escape!

We talk electroreception, parrot marriage, and lots more on this very special episode. What makes it special? Well, there’s been a change to the rules that’ll be sure to keep you on your toes. What change is that, you ask? I’ll never tell!

Hypothetical Question of the Week: which animal would you rather be if turning into that animal meant you had to marry the other host of Fanimorphs?


Animorphs #15: The Escape

The Fanimorphs are at it again, this time with another book by our good good comedy boy: Marco! This week, our wonderful hosts discuss Animorphs #15: The Escape, the one where they have to fight off cyborg sharks!

Get ready for a full breakdown of what the hell Ax’s tail is made of, Tessa’s newfound vampirism, and, finally, another Visser Three Morph Minute! For those wondering: yes, Tessa is now fully a vampire and can’t walk through the threshold of a home without being invited in.


Live from the Gardens: The Unknown

We’re back with more animal trivia and friendly rivalries in this week’s Live from the Gardens as we discuss the osprey and the horse, the two main morphs from Animorphs #14, the book we read last week (also the one with the Andalite toilet).

If you’re into backwards talons, closing your nostrils on command, and the intricate and ancient details of a horse culture that predates that of humankind, you’re in the right place! We are ready, willing, and neiiiiighble to tickle your funnybone this week.


Animorphs #14: The Unknown

This week the Fanimorphs dig their teeth into Animorphs #14: The Unknown, the one where they infiltrate a secret military base and find an Andalite toilet!

If you’re in the mood for poop jokes and us talking over each other, you’re in for a treat! We talk morphing betting rings, how Tessa gets offended for horses, and whether or not horses can give themselves abortions. Strap in!


The Hork-Bajir Chronicles

Jump into an alien invasion this week on Fanimorphs: The Dork-Bajir Chronicles when we talk about The Hork-Bajir Chronicles! We talk everything from Visser Three’s relatability to Dak Hamee’s eight-pack abs to Hork-Bajir teeth.

We’re also joined this week by our friend Andrew, curator and memelord of Vissermeme fame! You can find more of his stuff on Tumblr at, on Twitter as @visserfuckin3 and on Instagram as @yeerkfilth.


Live from the Gardens: The Change

We’re once again joined by a gaggle of moths for our Live from the Gardens about Animorphs #13: The Change! He brings the smart as we go over some trivia about raccoons and settle in for a pleasant listening experience as the moths read us a story about the rainforest and what it might be like for Hork-Bajir on their planet.

Get ready for some deep dives into raccoon facts like why do raccoons wash their food? How can they climb down trees headfirst? Why are they so damn cute? All this and more on this week’s Live from the Gardens!

You can find the full text that the moths were reading from at

You can also find the aforementioned moths on Twitter at


Animorphs #13: The Change

We’re joined this week by a genuine character: moths! That’s right, a bunch of moths chime in this week for our discussion of Animorphs #13: The Change, the Tobias book where he gets his morphing powers back!

We talk about just about everything this episode, from deep-seated gender role metaphors to Hork-Bajir genitalia to all sort of other delicious tidbits. Mikael tries to ship Rachel and Marco again and everyone hates him for it, as usual.

You can find the aforementioned moths on Twitter: @archaevist